Onlinehumidor.com

Just asking a clarification and trying to ask in a civil way.  But thanks for the clarification.

[quote author=BigRon link=topic=10991.msg60242#msg60242 date=1318069369]
tksamtec, and likescarsz28, thank you for your replies.. good story too..

i will take your advice,and thanks for being positive.

BTW, Dan.. I guess you say silly things after being called a Fat, Working class retard in random PM? (3 different prejudice's rolled into one). A PM that i didnt start, was not warranted in any way, nor did i want any part of.. But i cant be a victim, right. lol.... BTW, i have jewish family members, and i come from a VERY diverse family, so make no mistake about it, i have no ill-will towards anybody...

and this is the last time im discussing this crap..unless is has to do with cigars, or the people that have felt wronged in the past, i will not reply.. I will move forward by replying/messaging people through PM's.. This BS has gone far enough.
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[quote author=tksamtec link=topic=10991.msg60200#msg60200 date=1318009632]

If its been documented what was missing from your deal (the extras that were accidentally left out), why not just ship them and be done with this.  [/quote]

I have no dog in this fight and don't know any of the parties involved, but is this whole huge, big to-do over some free extra cigars that weren't given to someone?? I've been told I'd get some tag-alongs that weren't included before and just chalked it up to forgetfullness and of course never mentioned it to the person, because they were free.

Again, not picking sides here, just curious.

I think maybe the Jewish mafia IS after him Robbie!

[quote author=DrEric link=topic=10991.msg60253#msg60253 date=1318090380]
I have no dog in this fight and don't know any of the parties involved, but is this whole huge, big to-do over some free extra cigars that weren't given to someone?? I've been told I'd get some tag-alongs that weren't included before and just chalked it up to forgetfullness and of course never mentioned it to the person, because they were free.

Again, not picking sides here, just curious.

I think maybe the Jewish mafia IS after him Robbie!
[/quote]

There are times when someone will throw in an extra smoke or two, sure.  However, there are also times when someone states they will add cigars to the deal to make it worth the asking price.  I passed on buying the cigars at first, but then agreed to do so based on being told more would be added.  I actually had this happen twice, made a decision to go ahead and buy cigars based on others being added to make it worth the purchase.  Smokes came in, but the others were not included.  I sent a message to the guy and within three days not only did he send what was missing, but included a couple others (these would be the tagalongs) for forgetting to include the others.  That's the way things should be handled. 

If you haven't, go back a page or two and click on the link I posted.   

Ahhh, I see now. No bueno

Ron would you mind if I posted your pm's to me here?

Hello gentlemen, I didn't know of this thread but figured something was up because I received a PM from BigRon the other day. I have chosen to answer him in an open forum because this sad story has gone on far too long.

I have come to realize as I've gotten older, that some high emotional event must be taking place to provoke the type of sentiments expressed in Ron's message to me.

I won't get into the exact wording, but I will tell you it was a 'sort' of apology. By that I mean, he took responsibility for his actions in that sour deal we had, but without really saying SPECIFICALLY what he did wrong, just a bunch of cliches about messing up. When I read it, I was moved by his words and thought he was finally "getting it". Once I did read it, I immediately call Greg (Kingantz) to tell him of the message I received, Greg said he received one too. We spoke about it and I left the conversation realizing I needed to sleep on this. Please follow this overly worded post and I will try to explain my feelings.

Most of you don't know me so I think you need to know where I come from...I'm not pinning any medals on my chest...just letting you all know what I'm all about in regards to cigars and the friendships they create.

I have taken great pride in mentoring young people that have decided to enter our world of cigar smoking...just as my Father & Uncle did to me. I watched them give away cigars with broad smiles on their faces...every time they were in the company of their friends and strangers alike. My Uncle imparted on me a tradition of ALWAYS giving away the first cigar in EVERY new box you buy before actually smoking one yourself, saying it brought good luck and would insure goodwill to our great hobby. That is a tradition I practice to this very day. I have lost count of the people I have shown the way of what has become known as a 'BOTL'....my own son being one of them. Over the years I have given away 100's of cigars...and in reality, probably 1000's over my 35+ years of smoking cigars. It warms my heart to see someone truly enjoy a smoke that I provided. BUT, the biggest joy brought to me was I made a friend for life. Strange thing though, I still feel uncomfortable when I actually receive cigars from others as I get more joy in the giving...but as a young friend said to me once when he tried to give my a very expensive Cohiba one time and I was trying to refuse..."Gary, you taught me to give and be generous with my cigars, please let me practice what you preach!" Powerful stuff for an old guy to digest. Since then, I have witnessed countless younger guys at herfs and get togethers be so proud and happy to hand me a cigar that they have chosen just for me...and have seen that happiness written all over their faces when they did so...they get it! You can't imagine how proud I am each time that happens now. Being Italian, those that know me are greeted with a hug and hugged again when we part...that's the level of friendship I always hope to create.

Now, the reason I mention all this is that I willingly and purposely did this with Ron as I saw him as a relative newcomer to our hobby regardless of what he said, I felt he was 'worth' the time and effort to explain the tradition that we as cigar smokers have so willingly embraced and enjoyed. I have to be perfectly honest in saying that Ron always came across as someone who thought he knew more than he really did. He exuded a sort of condescending tone when talking with him...and it didn't take a psychiatrist to sense this. As a parent, you can see this in young people that want to try and come across as 'knowledgeable'...to be perceived as an equal and not as a novice. Again as a parent, we would call that immaturity....but that's OK, we have all done things like this in our youth and regretted it when we've gotten older!

But with Ron, there was this inherent flaw that I kept seeing, a side of him that just didn't seem cut out to be in this type of hobby...or brotherhood as some may say. He had this chip on his shoulder and always felt he had to come out on top of everything he touched...whether it be a topic of conversation or a cigar deal he was involved with. Call it what you want...insecurity or immaturity...it didn't set well with me as I saw the deal gone wrong that we were involved with or one that I read about online...there was always a similar pattern. Gentlemen, I'm not talking one or two...but almost all of them he touched. Whether here in NJ or online. He would try to take advantage of all those involved by convincing himself that he was right for doing wrong...and then play this victim role in each instance. Once that took place, he would lash out to all those involved that pointed out his shortcomings.

If you take on the role of a mentor, there comes a level of calmness and firmness when explaining where someone goes wrong. When I reached out to Ron to start this process, he ignored my attempts to contact him. And once I did, he started to make up stories as to why he did wrong...trying to justify his actions. When I didn't accept his reasons, he immediately went into a defensive posture instead of admitting his wrong doings and making it right...like a true BOTL.

When we as people accept what we have done wrong and apologize for our actions, it's a very liberating act...and helps to cleanse one's soul. Unfortunately, that's the part I feel Ron doesn't understand and maybe never will....and I'll now explain why.

Ron is not a kid...he's a man. He has had PLENTY of time to make things right. I'm on multiple forums (CP, CF, CA, OLH, etc.) so it's easy to contact me. He has repeatedly lied and lied again when confronted with his lies. If his ranting and ravings were coming from a 20yo, I would understand it and help him see the light...but over time I feel he doesn't deserve the 5th and 6th chances he's asking us for. Guys, I'm a practicing Catholic and being a Christian is based on the unselfish act of forgiveness...but there is something inside me that is saying this guy just doesn't get it because this has been his pattern over 2-3 years. He doesn't have it in him to just reach in his humidor and hand someone $50 worth of cigars and only ask for a smile in return. I was encouraged to read Rob say he met Ron here in NJ and found him to be a gracious host as they shared a cigar together. But I have to admit, knowing Ron as I do and reading about his antics online...I hate to say that that time with Rob & company was more of an anomaly than a new found direction in his Life.

Far be it from me to be the final word on Ron as I have no right to impart my feelings on others and tell them to judge him the same as I...everyone to there own opinion. But after sleeping on this latest episode, I think his reason for reaching out to me is not just to ask for forgiveness, but to use this act as a method to stay on the only forum left to him. To finally say he made things right in hopes to move past all this. BUT with all the lies Ron has told, I don't trust him any more and probably never will...I can't, he's not a nice person and dare I say, a phony. I've known plenty of people like him over the years and you come to learn NEVER to trust them ever again once they abuse your trust. Ron is a 'user'...he uses people to further his own selfish agenda.

Sorry Ron, it's with a heavy heart I have to say...apology not accepted. I'm done with you and please, don't ever contact me again. I will leave you with this advice, you need to back off the forums as a means of selling cigars and buying friends.

Good luck in your journey.....I hope you take everyone's suggestions and stop the lying and be a man of your word...because in the end Ron, it's how we're measured and it's all we have left after we're gone from this Earth.

Way too long................................................................................

[quote author=ironpeddler link=topic=10991.msg60419#msg60419 date=1318358896]When we as people accept what we have done wrong and apologize for our actions, it's a very liberating act...and helps to cleanse one's soul. Unfortunately, that's the part I feel Ron doesn't understand and maybe never will....and I'll now explain why.[/quote]

Gary, not for nothing, but i was 100% genuine bout everything i typed to you.. Not only why i was wrong ( i even stated that i dont deserve an apology), which is why im accepting the fact that your not accepting. Which is understandable, but Please, understand that i wouldnt do this unless i meant it 110%.  I was literally ecstatic when i messaged Greg and we were able to talk things out, he acted like the BOTL everybody should strive to be, and i felt like an elephant came off my back.. And i am forever grateful to be in the presence of such people. It takes a strong man to apologize, and a stronger man to forgive somebody when they feel wronged,  like ive wronged you fellahs

[quote author=ironpeddler link=topic=10991.msg60419#msg60419 date=1318358896]


Sorry Ron, it's with a heavy heart I have to say...apology not accepted. I'm done with you and please, don't ever contact me again.

Good luck in your journey.......because in the end Ron, it's how we're measured and it's all we have left after we're gone from this Earth.
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Well Gary, we are all entitled to our own choices, and i respect yours.. Thats all i can say.. Its very unfortunate, because i did feel better getting it off my back while messaging you; hoping for the best. But all i can do is try, and as stated earlier, it came from the heart. Best wishes

Talk about a fucken dram queen. He and retodd must wash their painties togeather, on fri nights.

[quote author=family guy link=topic=10991.msg60424#msg60424 date=1318360404]
Talk about a fucken dram queen. He and retodd must wash their painties togeather, on fri nights.
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There goes Sailor[color=pink]Scootsie[/color] talkin bout panties again....have you ever seen panties other than your mothers knickers?