Tasteless Jokes

[niterider56]

Health Insurance Plan

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital.

During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

"Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."

"Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman.

As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.

Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?"

Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same illness, better health plan."

[atomross13]

How are American beer and making love in a canoe the same?

Both are Fu(%ing close to water.

[atomross13]

How does a blond turn the light on in the morning??

open the car door.

[Land Rover]

This is moving along well

[atomross13]

How do you know the Tooth brush was invented at duke university?


any onther place and it would have been named the Teeth Brush!!  :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

[atomross13]

[quote author=atomross13 link=topic=33.msg2012#msg2012 date=1176653686]
How do you know the Tooth brush was invented at duke university?


any onther place and it would have been named the Teeth Brush!!  :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
[/quote]

I forgot, except univ. of Louisville, it would have been the gum brush.

[SRex]

What are the little bumps around womens nipples for?


It's braile for "suck here"

[niterider56]

Top Redneck pickup lines


1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

[sosmn]

This is either going to get my post tally up really easily or get me ostracized but I've got a bunch to share.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?



Because she's a woman.

What's blue and comes in brownies?


Cub scouts.

Here is by far the worst one I will post at the moment.

How do you make an 8 year old cry twice?




Wipe your bloody dick on its teddy bear.

[Billsmokin]

They kicked me outta cub scouts...... I got caught eating a brownie  ;D