Onlinehumidor.com

3 tough guys hanging out in a bar were arguing who was the toughest.When the first one says to the bartender take that meat cleaver and cut my finger off.The bartender says "are you crazy?" he says just cut it off.So the bartender cuts off the finger.#1 says thats how tough I am.Tough guy #2 sets his hand on the bar and tell the bartender to cut it off.Again the bartender says "are you crazy?" just do it says #2.Down comes the cleaver ...off goes the hand.#2 says thats how tough I am.Tough guy #3 lays his dick on the bar ,the bartender says you don't want me to cut off your dick?#3 says just stroke it a few times it cums off by it self. :gotcha:

[quote author=opusXmarco link=topic=33.msg1217#msg1217 date=1176403142]
What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?







Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12

[/quote]

that was funny, especially ince i went to Catholic school

[quote author=Land Rover link=topic=33.msg1368#msg1368 date=1176478596]
that was funny, especially ince i went to Catholic school
[/quote]

So I take it the priest got you? :gotcha:

What do all the residents of the battered womens shelter have in common?  :o













None of them would shut the phuck up!  :ordr:

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.
A very attractive blonde woman from Tennessee arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down . and squealed...
"YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
 
She hugged each of the dealers .. and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."

Moral of the Story:

Not all Southerners are stupid.

Not all blondes are dumb.

But, all men.....are men.

I hear that 8 out of 10 women are battered... and I'm still eating mine plain!!!

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 Japanese yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money than the previous week. The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"

Three guys are sitting in a bar when the first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have an automatic garage door."The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she has a cellular phone antenna on her car and she doesn't even have a cellular phone."The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of rubbers and she doesn't even have a penis."

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?
They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

What did George W. Bush get on his SAT score? Drool.