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A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, "You asshole, I'm drowning."

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Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian


Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer.. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

How can you tell when an Ethiopian woman is pregnant?


You can actually see the baby.

How do you get her pregnant in the first place?



C** on her foot and let the flies do the rest

[quote author=Knuck42 link=topic=33.msg22821#msg22821 date=1271115962]
A wife screams at her husband in the delivery room, "YOU DID THIS TO ME!"  The husband replies " I wanted to put it in your ass, but you said THAT would hurt!"

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[/quote]

LOL

Great thread.

Did you hear the one about the gay midget?




He finally came out of the cupboard.

A guy walks into a barber shop.... Mean looking guy. Asks the Barber if he has time to give him a haircut and a shave. The Barber says sure have a seat.

The mean looking man says I'm really funny about my hair. Pulls out a picture and says it better look just like this when you're finished. And I want a nice clean shave after that. And if you knick me.... (at this point the man lifts the front of his shirt up exposing a large revolver) I'm going to blow your brains all over that mirror over there.

So the Barber gets to cutting his hair.... Finishes up and the man just was thrilled with his haircut. He started shaving the guys face.... Almost finished and just barely knicked him. Says Oh what the hell..... Cuts the guys throat right there in the Barber chair!

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.

What's the worse part about going down on your grandma?

Banging your head on the coffin lid when your done.

Wow, Started this thread in 2007,  still going... :bigup: